{"id":4679,"date":"2024-09-02T23:02:23","date_gmt":"2024-09-02T23:02:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/?p=4679"},"modified":"2024-09-02T23:12:15","modified_gmt":"2024-09-02T23:12:15","slug":"the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/","title":{"rendered":"The Myth of the Soulmate: A Dangerous Illusion that Hinders Love"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 eztoc-toggle-hide-by-default' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#The_Lottery_Illusion\" >The Lottery Illusion<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#Why_the_Soulmate_is_a_Dangerous_Myth\" >Why the Soulmate is a Dangerous Myth<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#A_Passive_Paralysis\" >A Passive Paralysis<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#Emotional_Dependence\" >Emotional Dependence<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#Consequences_for_Men_and_Women\" >Consequences for Men and Women<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#Impact_on_Men\" >Impact on Men<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#Impact_on_Women\" >Impact on Women<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#Rethinking_Love_Criteria\" >Rethinking Love Criteria<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Lottery_Illusion\"><\/span>The Lottery Illusion<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Imagine someone who quits their job to fully dedicate themselves to gambling, spending every month their benefits on Euromillions tickets. This person firmly believes that one day they will win the jackpot and become extremely rich. This belief seems absurd, doesn\u2019t it? Yet, in the realm of love, a similar belief affects a majority of Westerners. According to a recent survey, <strong>60% of Americans<\/strong> believe in the <strong>soulmate<\/strong>, meaning they think there is a person who is perfectly compatible with them, and that destiny will allow them to meet this person by magic.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_the_Soulmate_is_a_Dangerous_Myth\"><\/span>Why the Soulmate is a Dangerous Myth<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"A_Passive_Paralysis\"><\/span>A Passive Paralysis<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<p>The soulmate myth can be compared to an emotional lottery. If you believe that the perfect person will materialize in front of you without any effort, you become passive. This belief can paralyze you in two ways:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Personal Stagnation<\/strong>: You think you don\u2019t need to improve or step out of your comfort zone since destiny will make sure you meet the ideal person. Consequently, you have no motivation to evolve or correct your flaws. You remain trapped in a routine that limits your chances of meeting someone compatible.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Passivity in Relationships<\/strong>: Even if you are in a relationship, believing in the soulmate can make you dependent on your partner. You invest so much in the relationship, thinking it&#8217;s the best thing that could happen to you, that you tolerate destructive and harmful behaviors.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Emotional_Dependence\"><\/span>Emotional Dependence<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<p>This myth can also lead to <strong>emotional dependence<\/strong>. When someone is convinced that their partner is &#8220;the one&#8221; and that nothing is better, they might stay in a toxic relationship just because they believe they cannot find better. This phenomenon is related to <strong>escalation of commitment<\/strong>: the initial investment makes you cling to a relationship even when it no longer meets your expectations.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Consequences_for_Men_and_Women\"><\/span>Consequences for Men and Women<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Impact_on_Men\"><\/span>Impact on Men<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<p>For men, the soulmate myth is particularly harmful. It can hinder their personal development and their success with women. A man who believes in this myth risks remaining passive and not cultivating his personal qualities. He ends up being less attractive and less capable of maintaining a stable and fulfilling relationship.<\/p>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Impact_on_Women\"><\/span>Impact on Women<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<p>For women, the soulmate myth can also be problematic. For example, a woman may stay in a toxic relationship with a partner who treats her poorly, believing that no one else could make her happier. This belief is often exacerbated by <strong>hypergamy<\/strong>, where the desire to find a &#8220;better&#8221; partner is fueled by unrealistic ideals.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Rethinking_Love_Criteria\"><\/span>Rethinking Love Criteria<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>So, should we abandon the idea of love altogether? Absolutely not. But it is crucial to <strong>readjust your expectations<\/strong>. Instead of seeking the perfect person, it is wiser to look for someone with whom you can share clear and kind communication. Replace unrealistic criteria with concrete and achievable ones.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Read Also<\/strong>:\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/love-and-sexuality-through-the-eyes-of-the-stoics-a-timeless-perspective\/\">Love and Sexuality through the Eyes of the Stoics: A Timeless Perspective<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The soulmate myth is an illusion that can lead to personal stagnation, emotional dependence, and unsatisfying relationships. It is essential to confront reality and work on yourself to reveal your potential. By adopting a realistic approach and setting achievable criteria, you can truly find a fulfilling and lasting relationship.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Don\u2019t let the soulmate myth hold you back.<\/strong> Take charge of your happiness and reshape your view of love by relying on real and practical criteria.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Lottery Illusion Imagine someone who quits their job to fully dedicate themselves to gambling, spending every month their benefits on Euromillions tickets. This person firmly believes that one day they will win the jackpot and become extremely rich. This belief seems absurd, doesn\u2019t it? Yet, in the realm of love, a similar belief affects &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4676,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[145],"tags":[3031,190,3033,3032,2136],"class_list":["post-4679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-thais-descufon-en","tag-emotional-dependency","tag-female-hypergamy","tag-realistic-criteria","tag-relational-passivity","tag-soulmate-myth"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v22.6 (Yoast SEO v27.5) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Myth of the Soulmate: A Dangerous Illusion that Hinders Love - The Pilule<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The soulmate myth, widespread in Western societies, can lead to passivity and emotional dependency in romantic relationships. 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Many people believe in a perfect person who will appear solely by the effect of destiny, which can paralyze individuals and prevent them from progressing personally or maintaining healthy relationships. This myth encourages stagnation and the acceptance of toxic relationships. To build fulfilling relationships, it is crucial to abandon this illusion and focus on realistic and achievable criteria.","twitter_creator":"@https:\/\/www.twitter.com\/thepilule","twitter_site":"@thepilule","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Junelle Belvanie<span class=\"bp-verified-badge\"><\/span>","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/"},"author":{"name":"Junelle Belvanie","@id":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/#\/schema\/person\/2df76a1a346f4c5e453bea670b256ffa"},"headline":"The Myth of the Soulmate: A Dangerous Illusion that Hinders Love","datePublished":"2024-09-02T23:02:23+00:00","dateModified":"2024-09-02T23:12:15+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/"},"wordCount":576,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/maxresdefault-8.jpg","keywords":["emotional dependency","Female Hypergamy","realistic criteria","relational passivity","soulmate myth"],"articleSection":["Tha\u00efs D'Escufon"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/","url":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/","name":"The Myth of the Soulmate: A Dangerous Illusion that Hinders Love - The Pilule","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/en\/the-myth-of-the-soulmate-a-dangerous-illusion-that-hinders-love\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.thepilule.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/maxresdefault-8.jpg","datePublished":"2024-09-02T23:02:23+00:00","dateModified":"2024-09-02T23:12:15+00:00","description":"The soulmate myth, widespread in Western societies, can lead to passivity and emotional dependency in romantic relationships. 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