Love and Sexuality through the Eyes of the Stoics: A Timeless Perspective

Have you ever stopped to think about what your love life would be like if you looked at it from the point of view of an ancient philosopher? Today, we’re going to explore a perspective that, although initiated thousands of years ago, still resonates today: the Stoic perspective.

Stoicism, born in ancient Greece and flourishing in the heart of ancient Rome, was not limited to questions about the nature of the universe, but also delved into the complexity of our emotions and relationships. The Stoics believed that life should be lived in harmony with nature, and that our emotions, including love and sexual desire, should be understood and managed wisely.

Sexuality: An Expression of the Natural Order

According to the Stoics, love and sexuality are not merely fleeting passions, but rather opportunities to exercise virtue, self-discipline and, above all, to recognize our shared nature with other human beings. Contrary to a simplistic view, sexuality is not simply a physical act, but an expression of the natural order with its own goals and meanings.

Understanding this means discovering deeper, more meaningful ways to connect with ourselves and others. The Stoics offer us a lens through which we can see and understand love and sexuality in a broader context where self-discipline, respect and mutual understanding are of paramount importance.

Human Nature and Desire

For the Stoics, understanding human nature was essential to leading a virtuous life. They believed that we are born with inclinations and desires that are in essence neutral. What really counts, they say, is how we respond and act in the face of these desires. So sexual desire, far from being something negative, is simply part of human nature.

Celebrating Sexuality in Harmony with the Universe

In the Stoic view, sexuality is nothing more than an expression of the natural order of the universe. It is a manifestation of nature’s will for life to continue. By approaching sexuality in this way, the Stoics remind us that our actions, even in the realm of sexuality, must be understood and approached in the wider context of harmony with the universe.

Stoic Love: Paradoxical Wisdom

Have you ever heard of stoic love? At first glance, this might seem a contradiction, since stoicism is often associated with self-discipline and detachment, while love is an intense emotion. However, far from renouncing love, the Stoics invite us to experience it in a deeper, more meaningful way.

In the words of a famous Stoic, “It’s not that we avoid affections, but that we decide which affections to follow.” This calls for us not to reject our emotions, but to guide them and give them direction. Love, when impulsive and unexamined, can lead to hasty decisions and obsession. However, approached with Stoic wisdom, love can be profound without compromising our inner peace.

Epictetus and Love without Attachment

Epictetus, a renowned Stoic, further developed the idea of love without attachment. Loving without expecting something in return, without trying to possess or control the other person, but simply enjoying their presence, is a Stoic practice. Detachment, in this context, doesn’t mean a lack of care or affection, but rather loving in a freer, more authentic way.

Marriage and family according to the Stoics

Marriage and the family, fundamental to many cultures, were also subjects of deep reflection for the Stoics. For them, marriage was not simply a loving union, but also a commitment to society and the continuity of humanity.

Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher emperor, saw marriage as an act of nature aimed at the continuation of the species. The duties and responsibilities of marriage were seen as opportunities for personal growth and contribution to the common good. Fidelity, mutual respect, support and commitment were fundamental pillars of a successful matrimonial relationship.

Education and Children: A Stoic Perspective

The Stoics had an enlightened perspective on education and children. They believed that children are not just little adults, but developing beings who need guidance, love and, above all, good examples to follow. For the Stoics, educating a child meant instilling values by example, and preparing them to face life with wisdom and resilience.

Further reading: Stoicism: An Ancient Philosophy for Modern Times

The Stoic vision of marriage and family is a blend of commitment to nature, society and oneself. It’s about living according to principles that enrich individual and collective life, rather than simply fulfilling social roles.